I'm so tired.

I just spent the weekend with my Mom and the rest of the family. My niece is precious. **sigh**. I want a baby.

My friend is having a baby. I'm really happy for her. But my heart hurts, because I should have a baby. Only I don't. I have a great black hole in my heart that refuses to heal. I feel bad that I feel jealous, that I feel so... I don't know. I just wish I hadn't lost my baby. It hurts so much all the time.